T.V. dinner for the soul.

I watch a lot of T.V. And I mean a lot, if you think you watch a lot of T.V. you are wrong, I watch T.V. in a similar manner to how Muslim fundamentalists watch the sky, or how John McCain watches his heart rate, in a perpetual state of waiting- waiting for something to happen. It never does of course, but the thrill is in the chase. The reason I'm telling you this is because I'm not happy, and I think T.V. could be the reason why. I feel bad for bad-mouthing T.V. as its been the source of much of my education, pleasure and personality for much of my life - I feel like a foal rejecting it's mothers teet, as I no longer want milk but feel like tasting champagne instead.
But nothing on T.V. makes me happy I am just constantly dejected and sad, which is why I've decided there is no such thing as feel good T.V. Any show that claims to be feel good is ultimately quite dark, as if all of T.V has been made by Frank Capra. Think about Neighbours- you're supposed to think wow, look at those people: all loving and getting on together. What a wonderful neighbourhood; but what you're really thinking is look at all those beautiful fuckers, and all their sunshine I just wish Harold's extra chin would turn around and devour the lot of them. The Pride of Britain awards, you're meant to revel at the remarkable resilience and courage shown by children in the face of extreme misfortune, but really you're left feeling sick to the stomach as celebrity after celebrity manages to turn their triumph into advertising space for their own self publicity, all the while realising just how little in comparison you've achieved in your own life. The fact that in the current climate of Britain the poor children are likely to be the victim of knife crime on top of what they've all ready suffered is a sobering and depressing thought. The very fact that people like Chantelle and Chanelle are on T.V., and that I know their names (as you do too, don't lie to yourself) and am able to differentiate between them, is enough to make you despair at what Britain currently deems as worthy as a reward. T.V. used to be my friend, but now it's just an annoying presence in the corner of my living room, constantly reminding me of how dreary and depressing real life is, while showing me stories of how nonentities that have appeared on Big Brother are enjoying the endless highs of being a Z- list celebrity. It's probably not true, but it still feels like a kick in the bollocks. The fact is that trash T.V. exists for a purpose- it allows us to hold public figures up to whatever barometer we deem appropriate, we can either laugh and smile in a superior way at Jordan when she whores the last vestiges of her private life for money, or when Kerry Katona announces that she will give birth on T.V, or we can feel anguish and jealousy because we weren't afforded the same privilege and worship them as modern day chav monarchs and sit in wonderment at their burberry blooded privilege. T.V can either be our window looking in at the world of celebrity, where we shiver in the cold waiting to be fed the left over scraps from their table, or it can be our window looking out; Where we laugh haughtily at those who sacrifice any shred of dignity and respect just so they can appear outside our window, as we hold them up to be figures of ridicule and dinner party anecdotes we use to amuse ourselves, the choice is ours. T.V is a democracy, and in the current climate of Britain thats actually quite a comforting thing.